Becoming Your Own Enemy

Without an iota of doubt, Brian Clough is one of the greatest managers in the history of the English Premier League as he is one of only four managers to have won the league while managing two different clubs. He is often remembered for his controversial quotes during press interviews and one of his most memorable quotes demonstrates the level of belief that he had in his ability to deliver results –

‘’I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business, but I was in the top one.’’

Even though this quote sounds paradoxical, it highlights the fact that Brian Clough had immense mental strength both as a successful player and coach. One of his biggest achievements was taking relatively average clubs like Nottingham Forest and Derby County to the pinnacle of local and continental success and that is why he is often referred to as ‘the greatest manager the England national team never had.’

So just like Brian Clough, nobody will believe in you or what you can do until you first believe in yourself. It all begins on the inside of you. One of the greatest battles you will win in life is the one that goes on in your mind. Unless that battle is won, you may never experience triumph over the obstacles of life. Believing in yourself is not necessarily a matter of foolish pride or arrogance but it has a lot to do with your self-confidence.

The sad reality is too many people wake up everyday and walk around with belief systems that hinder their progress in life. By doing so, they inadvertently become their own enemies without realising it. Even though they confront the same challenges faced by other people who are getting good results, their own outcomes are radically different, probably because of an unbalanced worldview or a negative orientation.

These sets of beliefs or orientations that an individual has about his/herself and that significantly prevents him/her from reaching full potential in life are referred to as limiting beliefs. Such beliefs can render an individual powerless or grouchy in situations when they should be in control. Limiting beliefs can result in a ‘mental disability’ which is far worse than being physically disabled.

Limiting beliefs are products of our environmental conditioning and other factors that have impacted us over the years and that is the reason why it can be sometimes difficult to break free from them even when we clearly identify them. We will look at some of the limiting beliefs that often hold people down and places their personal goals and dreams in shackles.

• “All the resources I need should be available and the conditions have to be perfect before I execute an idea or embark on a project”. This is a fallacy that does not in any way conform to reality. Whatever it is you want to achieve, you need to hit the road and you must do it now. The wait for perfect conditions and sufficient resources are common excuses given by those who have a habit of procrastinating.

• “Successful people have extraordinary talent and I do not measure up in terms of my abilities or qualities”. Nothing can be further from the truth as this limiting belief does not have any scientific backing. You can be the best at what you do and be super-successful if you put in massive effort and an unparalleled determination to get things done.

• “Seeking greener pastures abroad is the guaranteed means for me to attain success in life” This is another falsehood that has been circulated in developing countries for a long time and has caused huge migration problems in the developed world. Truth be told, there are better opportunities and an enabling environment in many western countries but there are also successful career and businesspeople in Africa too.

• “Being a great leader is for only a select few with superior traits and this disqualifies me from taking up leadership roles”.  We cannot dispute the fact that there are those who are naturally born leaders, but leadership abilities and attributes can also be developed in an individual who is willing to be groomed. You can be an excellent leader of men if you do not shy away from opportunities for self-growth and advancement.

• “Having multiple or repeated failures at a given task or goal is a bad omen for me and that is the reason why I must quit now”. The only place where people often succeed after the first attempt is in the classroom, but the reality can be very different outside of the classroom. Failure is not exactly the opposite of success; it is an essential part of it because people often fail many times before they make it in life.

• “This is not the right age or stage in my life for me to assume a lofty position or start something new”. A lot of people write themselves off based on age without realising that the world out there is far more concerned about the results that you can deliver and not your date of birth. You are not too young to become the head of a department or division in your organisation and you are not too old to start out on the entrepreneurial path.

• “At the moment, I am too busy to invest quality time in my personal and professional Development”. The fact is we all have the same allocation of time daily - no one has less or more than 24 hours - but what we choose to do with our time is totally up to us as individuals. If your self-growth really matters to you, you should create time for it.

Doing away with limiting beliefs can transform a mediocre into an achiever and therefore it is vital to thoroughly assess ourselves in terms of the limiting beliefs that we harbour in ourselves. Do not become your own enemy by nurturing mindsets and philosophies that are not in your best interests. Your worldview and orientation about life will ultimately determine how you respond to challenges and situations around you.

See you at the top!